Take my face, and cup it in your hands.

All I ever wanted was for someone to love me.

Kiss my nose and my lips.
Tell me that I'm the prettiest little thing ever, the most darling one you've ever had.
All looking straight into my soul.
Take me home and make me warm.
Melt my past away, and tell me that I'm something special, make me feel like you're real.
And even if you lie to me, I'd still believe in you.

You

I'll look back and think about us sometimes, think about you.
I'll wonder if you ever think about me, or recall the dreams that we made together.

We built a kingdom strong enough for a future, and it flourished in a way that always kept us inspired.
My heart bends in such tender ways that make me weak enough to cry when I flash back on the cold autumn days.
Every melody you've ever sang for me is embedded in my head well enough as if you've just finished your final recording, if I wanted to remember.
I loved Hayden and I loved Taylor. And I loved the way they sang for me.
And I can still feel the way your hands fit in mine, how perfectly my fingers interlock with yours...

But then I will remember that you told me that you liked her so much and claimed that she reciprocated the same infinite amount back, just that you two just cannot be together...
It is then that I will suddenly feel the entire weight of the world on my shoulders- disgusted to the pits of my guts.
wow you knew how to wreck me well.

Proximity

Do you know what I miss the most? I miss laying on the pavement after noon talking about life and making things up, joking around and laughing till we’re literally out of air and feeling so great, because you’ve done your daily workout from laughing so much. The pure ecstasy-like feeling of oxygen running through our veins and the way it cleanses our body making sure we’re free. Our bare feet against the warmth of the pavement scraping up dirt, embracing Mother nature and Father earth. The way our mother holds us close and promises us comfort and the way our father ensures stability and tangibility. I think that’s the best; the days where your soul is free, and your body is exposed to love. The way the curves of our sides try to mold the dirt when I lay on the ground looking at you. The way the rays of the sun hits my nose bridge and warms my spine up. The way you look back at me grinning. And I’m smiling back. It’s great. It’s happiness in its rawest form. My hands outstretched reaching towards you, but the never-ending space between us separates us, creating the yearning for each other. The need for more intimacy. Small rocks that leave small imprints on the delicate palms of mine and yours.

Waking Up

The best thing about waking up with you, is the smell of your sweet scent that lightly floats in front of me.
It’s the calmness of our breaths synced together.
The way the sun's rays catches the blinds in certain angles, and how your lashes disseminate the morning light. The way you shy away when I put my nose against yours and our foreheads touch; the bridge aligning and two universe meeting.

You know that moment when you bring yourself closer for that kiss? It’s that soft touch, its gentleness. It’s you, pulling me in and me, playfully refusing, turning my back towards you. But it is when you bring me even closer, embracing me full-bodily.

My body fit against yours, your arm(s) wrapped around me, and your muted pastel kisses against my head.
Your body heat radiates, like the comforting sand on a warm beach day, promising eternity.
Our bare skin and its proximity. The limit is infinite. And our souls stripped cleans, submerged within each other’s.

my two of three worlds

The vibrations you make, run through me and spins me for days. Your sweet scent charms me and I’m bewitched again.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The world’s just a glass sphere I look in upon, something I lean against.
I put my arms around it, and I embrace.
inside-Everyone walks by so fast, people smile and laugh.
I pound as hard as I can. My knees bruised from tapping against the hard glass persistently, elbows violet indigo; it’s inevitable. I wasn’t made like everyone else.
Back against the cold soda-lime crystal, hands outstretched, my toes slowly dip into the optic, which was slowly liquifying below.
I fall in and glide into this star. I can’t find my legs to support myself on, I can’t find my voice to stabilize myself with. Yet I stand up and I try to communicate. Everyone passes by and no one notices me.
I shout, yet I’m mute.
I wish you could feel what I feel. I wish you could understand.
 - - - - - - - - - - - -
His love for me calls to me. Every time I turn to look he’s gone.
We play this game. A game of chasing.
He leaves me roses and other flowers to enjoy.
Notes and feelings inscribed into uneven parchment, and the accidental bleeding of ink.
But when he visits, his energy pulsate and instantly it weaves into me.
His sweet scent. A little musky.
Visit me more often.

i see finite eyes glistening with deep rouge red as little girls with tangled black hair snarl at me, those pretty butterflies. she's returned. and she doesn't feel sorry for anyone.

my hands are battered from brushing her away, but she's left five green-fused-purple stripes around my wrists. she hisses into my ear and all i feel is painfully excruciating sharp wind. her bedroom eyes direct me as i lower in her presence, because only she knows.
but she is my realm, she is my exotic beauty, our souls intertwined in a sensual contract. my cries convey as laughs and i enjoy her slits. our waltz fit only the moonlight.

only she, she is my only one. and only she'll ever know.

return

Remember that night among those same stars.
We're in a red car you were sleep at my side. Going in & out of the headlights
Could I have saved you? Would that have betrayed you?

I want to burn this film.
What you couldn't do I will.

(tumblr; source unknown)
she left behind scathed dead butterflies. two doves flying by. dead little girls half buried. hair everywhere. crusty red blood. i couldn't find her. i turn to look back at the dim lights afar. the lights are so far. so far away. just as i do so, the massive hood falls from around my face. i could feel the cold chills giving me sweet hickies. i see her. i see her standing beneath those massive yet far lights. she smiles at me....welcome back

blinking in the most admirable fashion, i also smile.
suddenly things aren't so cold anymore. things aren't lonely anymore.

my sweetest downfall

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But they're just old light
We couldn't break the columns down
No, we couldn't destroy a single one
And the history books forgot about us
Not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

---

reading old messages are such sins. but its such a guilty pleasure. and makes me warm, smile.
I feel so stupid, so pathetic. This silly child I am... how could I? You don't even care anymore.
Nor do you respect the person I am...

stolen treasure chest.

He left me so quickly.
The bittersweet scent of the after taste, like rum in my drunken pirate state.
You've stolen my soul, and hid my heart.

He ran away with her, catching her attention.
She followed blindly. Like me.
Well, I think.

---

I'm not sure of anything anymore. Neither do I want to take wild guesses.

You hurt me, you consume me, you worry me.Yes- still.

I miss you.